A goal: dress more like characters in Megatokyo, especially Miho, because they are hot.

Not really much to write about. I just got back from the gym, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I feel active, stronger, more flexible, you know, all that fun stuff. I'm going to go tomorrow when I go to Kitchener as well. I rule. I'm going to lose weight. I WILL be the hottest thing around. Go ahead Chad, I can take "Warhed's bootcamp", bring it on, chump.

Tomorrow I get to go to Kitchener after my physics exam and spend 4 days with Chad. I am excited. Wednesay will be t3h sh17 because he doesn't have to work, so it's an entire day for Chaddy time. Excitement to the max. AND now that I have my gym membership, I can go work out right down the street while Chad is at work! I am the definition of amazing.

Another reason why I love Chad so fucking much, he gave me a ton of his old clothes to work with. I have many many clothing projects underway at this moment. My favourite to date is my Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter hoodie. Awesome? Obviously. I have so much camo to work with too, I heart.

And I know I've said it before, but I absoloutly LOVE Chad when he first wakes up in the morning. He is just so fucking adorable for some reason, I can barely stand it. I guess it's just because I'm used to him being so tough and throwing himself on thumbtacks and barbed wire, that it just warms my heart to see his half-closed eyes and cute little smile. Enjoi.

I hope you have a needle and thread...because I'm RIPPED! *flexes*

Mind my own business I'm on my journey
And I havn't my girlfriends to keep me complete
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 5:43 PM

 
Good thing.

After my last 2 posts, I think it's time for some good news. After an evening of mall (ew), followe by a few good hours of moping and crying, I got a call from Chad. Apparently he read how I was scared to call him, so he took charge. He told me to come down ASAP so that we could kiss and stuff. Things would be all better.

As with the first time, I'm out the door in about 20 minutes.

I got there, hugged Chad, begged him to forgive me. We kissed, so on and so on, things were back to normal. Wow...first fight between Chad and I...harsh. I'm glad things are better even though it still hurts a little. It scared me to death the thought of losing him, and scared me even more that he was mad at me. I'm just glad he still loves me.

I gave Chad the present I had bought him earlier, a nice set of sheets for his bed. He hated them though, sucks.

The night went on. Darcy was having a dirty party with a bunch of stupid girls my age, which was really really annoying, considering the vast majority of them were all fucking tripped out on E and shit. Not cool, o'toole (haha...old). This one very drunk girl = entertainment for Addy, as well as making me look better since she was even more drunk than I was on New Year's. This one girl was really intent on taking pictures of Chad and I kissing, because it would be "SO HOT". I thought it was kind of funny, we humoured her, the end.

Chaddy tried to go to sleep around 2am, unfortunately, people were up and about until about 5am. Chad was angry, I was trying to calm him down, a hard task. But not for me because I have a magic touch, I can put that boy to sleep in a matter of minutes.

We went out for brunch/lunch this morning where a strange thing occured. We were eating our meal, like proper paying customers, when our waitress comes over. This goes down...

Waitress: "Uh, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you guys to pay now."
Chad: "Uh, why?"
Waitress: "I just got canned for throwing up, and it would be nice if you paid so I could you know, go home."

I don't think I've ever had something quite so strange happen to me in a restaurant. Wierdness in Kitchener.

And now I should make like a baby and head out. I'm glad things with Chad are back to perfect *smiles*.

There Is.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 5:53 PM

 
I hate this. I hate myself. I hate crying. I hate hypervhentilating. I hate this situation. I hate the distance between Kitchener and Guelph. I hate how I don't know when to shut up. I hate being too scared to call someone. I hate how my eyes burn when I cry. I hate how I get headaches when I cry. I hate not knowing exactly how he feels. I hate being paranoid. I hate the feeling that you're going to lose someone. I hate knowing I'm wrong. I hate being like his exes. I hate this.

I hate not knowing what else to be, besides sorry.

~EddiE
- posted by Eddie @ 9:41 PM

 
We'll try to at least start this post off on a good note.

Yesterday was good, for the most part. It was mommy's birthday (50, holy cow), so there was much love and celebration in the household. I went out to the gym with mom as kind of a birthday gift (she's been begging me forever), and I must say, not too bad, it was quite fun. So we worked out, I enjoyed it, and low and behold, I joined the fucking gym.

HOLY SHIT, ADDY DID SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE AND GOOD FOR HERSELF FOR ONCE!

Afterwards, went to work, stupid shit went down involving the ex boyfriend, I was angry, end of story. Man I hate work sometimes.

Here's where things get bad...

When I got home from work, I started talking to Chad on msn. It went pretty normally for a while. Typical "hey baby" and "I miss you" so on and so forth. So then this happened...

Me: "So what are you up to tonight?"
Chad: "Just watching a movie with some people."

So right there, he said people, something was up of course, because normally he would just say who it is. Yes Chad, I can see right through you sometimes.

Me: "Oh cool, what people?"
Chad: "...*pause*....Ali and Alex."

Jesus christ...yes ok, so I'm somewhat paranoid about Ali, but honestly, am I that much of a bitch that you try to fucking HIDE from me that they're there? You think I'm going to jump on the next bus to Kitchener and run over to your house and bitch her out? No, that's not what I'm going to do. My jelousy never ever takes on physical forms, ever, only emotional for me.

I guess the whole thing really set me off for the rest of the night. Chad called me. The conversation didn't go well. Many awkward silences and me feeling bad for having him on the phone at all when his friends were over. He finally let me go, and I have no idea why....but I just came out with most likely the BITCHIEST thing I have ever said in all my existance.

Chad: "Ok, well I guess I'll talk to you later."
Me: "Ok, try not to hit on Ali too much."

WOAH WOAH WOAH! ADDY! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? I honestly can't tell you...it just...came out. I felt terrible after I said it...but...I don't know, I just felt like I had to say something.

Quick Addy, try to save your ass. Try to make up for it and show that you're not really that much of a bitch.

Me: "Haha...well, Chad I love you."
Chad: "Yeah, I love you too, bye" *hangs up*

FUCK.

It's pretty easy to see my point here. I'm an idiot. And I probably will be until the day I die. As much as I try to cover up the fact that I'm paranoid and jelous of certain girls, it always comes out, sometimes in the worst way possible.

After I got off the phone, I cried. I cried and cried and told myself that I was a fucking moron and shouldn't be allowed near any sharp objects or heavy machinary, because I'm too fucking stupid to handle myself in any situation. If I can't even handle her hanging out with Chad (yes, it's her), then my god, how do I expect to get through life?

After crying like a girl in junior high, I tried to reason with myself. "Calm down there kiddo, it's not that bad, you didn't do too much wrong." I stopped, just stopped everything I was doing...my god...I'm right.

As awful as this sounds, I feel as though I'm justified in this situation. As it stands right now anyway. I thought over WHY I'm so paranoid about this one girl...and well...I'm almost positive, that even if I asked the most un-jelous girl ever, she would agree with me in saying that I have at least some shred of reason to worry.

There are 3 main reasons. No details on here...only for Addy to know and hate.

I ask myself sometimes why I bother getting mixed up and jelous like this. Why do I even put myself in these situations? I guess I believe that in the end....after all the stupid petty shit like this is figured out, it's worth it in the end to be with Chad. Even if I have to deal with being paranoid and jelous, it's worth it to me.

Although Chad and I havn't had a fight yet...I'm slightly worried about this situation right now. It feels rough, it hurts, it's just basically...not a good feeling. I'm worried that he's going to read this before I get a chance to talk to him about it. So Chad....don't take anything in this too literally, until I actually get a chance to talk to you. You know that this thing is just for me to get emotions out when I need it most.

So in the end...

I still love Chad more than anything else I've ever known.

I'm an idiot when it comes to dealing with uncomfortable situations.

I'm a jelous bitch.

My legs hurt.

And I STILL love Chad more than he'll ever know.

Hurt.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 9:44 AM

 
Me: "Wow Chad, you're...you're really sexy."
Chad: "Well...now I'm sexy...AND NAKED!" *rips off boxers*
(Chad is the funniest thing ever when he first wakes up)

Something strange...

Today was a pretty good, yet interesting day. I decided this morning that I was going to give a big "FUCK YOU" to my classes, considering it's the last day of the semester, and I just fucking loathe my courses. Mme Gelinas can shove it, twice. So I stayed home, and spend the last day of my Chaddy binge with Chad.

We headed out for some brunch (not quite breakfast, not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end) at Eggcetera, where I got a crepe just COVERED with english clotted cream. Sweet...sassy....molassy....it took just about all my willpower to finish the fucking thing, and there was still a huge pile of cream left on the plate. It was so awfully bad for me, but so delicious. We headed ova' to Lens Mill, got some minor items, and walked back hurr.

Here's the something strange I mentioned before. We got back here at around 1, and Chad was planning on taking the bus home at 3:25, so we had about 2 hours to kill. This is what sucks about the semi-long distance part. Whenever we spend time together, if we're not doing something and having a great time, it feels like time wasted, since we only get to see each other so much. So here I am, racking my brains trying to come up with something for us to do in these last few hours. Normally...it would boil down to this. If we can't think of anything....we have sex. It's a good alternative, plus...it's fun.

Chad just told me to come lay down beside him, and we'd think of something. Holy fuck, I laid down, and for some reason we both just fell fast asleep. And we slept for like...2 hours. I woke up, and was like "holy shit"...I just had no idea how or why that happened.

It just occurred to me right now that it's a good thing. It means that we're comfortable around each other, in the best way possible. We don't need to try to find something to do all the time, because we know that there's always going to be a next time we can hang out. It means that we're comfortable with what we have going, there's no worries of us breaking up anytime in the near future. Comfortable. Secure. Stable. I like this feeling.

Now....time to be a real loser and watch Dr. Phil while I make some clothes. NO MORE SCHOOL BITCHESSS!

I'm the one without a soul
I'm the one with this big fucking hole!
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 4:40 PM

 
Well well well...

Who would've ever guessed that I would go on a date with Chad to....MY WORK!? Oh yes kids, it happened. Chad came down and finally played some ball at the old Renegade PB. Sweet Sassy Molassy.

All I have to say is....you can train a n00b....but they'll still just be a trained n00b. And my god...Chad is the epidimy of a trained n00b. He even said bullets, I laughed, it was good.

Whatever, Chad may be a n00b, but I still love him. That just goes to show how much I REALLY care about him. What a lucky guy he is.

And now....time to get fat by having chips and dip and watching Futurama. Weeeee!

I Know Where I Wanna Go
But I Just Don't Know How To Get There
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 10:36 PM

 
Rocco: "You're PC whipped."
Gimpy: "How do you know?"
Rocco: "It says right here in this magazine, 'Your friend Gimpy is PC whipped.'"
Gimpy: "Oh, well can I see it?"
Rocco: "...no" *burns magazine*

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!" -My mom, I just heard her yell that from downstairs. Time to switch to decaf mom.

Reading through Sam's blog, and came across some funny things.

"RESURGE THE IST!" -Sam

Sam: Hey wanna do something?
Tom: I don't know, I have to eat dinner with the president...maybe if I can get the hovercraft started.
Sam: You're so cool Tom.
Tom: Nonsense Sam, here's fifty-thousand dollars.

Mike's Jokes based on "I'd read this article on pigs, but it would be a boar":
1. I would run on a track... but I'm not a race horse.
2. I would do track....but I'm already on Crack
3. I'd punch myself in the face....but that would break my jaw...
4. I'd join the kkk.... but I'm black...
5. I'd buy a green shirt....but I'm the hulk...
6. I'd go to K mart.....but I'm black..

Old quotes from me? (apparently)

"Hey juicy face!" -Me

Sam's fan club member: "Hey Sam, want a waffle?"
Sam: "...uh"
Me: "I WANT ONE MMM IM SO HUNGRY MMM SCARF SCARF SCARF!"


Uhhh back to the present....I'm embarassed to go back to my physics class because I did so terribly on the test today, I'm actually afraid that my teacher has lost respect for me or something.

I don't feel like blogging anymore because I need to clean up before Chad gets here.

The clothes I make rule....and Chad is hot....true story.

Josie, you're my source of most frustration.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 3:08 PM

 
This was such a good survey...I had to...I'm so so sorry everyone...

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
PARIS HILTON....DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Billy Talent or the Killers

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Obviously it's Hogan

4. What is your favorite cheese?
Havarti

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
Chicken Teryaki with sweet onion sauce, parmesan cheese, onions, green olives, lettuce and a tiny bit of LIGHT mayo...because that's how I roll

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back).
Here's the thing....I love Chad...so....no sex with anyone else

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?
See above you sluts

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How will you spend it?
Tattooooooooo

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Helloooooo Finland!

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?
That AWESOME market place in Jyvaskyla!

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out... so what's it gonna be?
Vodka vodka and more vodka

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Midevil times...and I would try and find like...dwarves and night elves...and then finally live out all my D&D campaigns

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Everybody wang-chung tonight.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
A show about how to be as awesome as me...called..."How to be as awesome as Addy"

15. What is your favorite expletive?
FUCKER

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything; they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Wake up Chad...
Me: "Chad...there are mummies in the room...."
Chad: "Come on Addy...you know where the machete and meat cleaver are...let me go back to sleep."

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.
MY BASS! AHHH

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
FUCK the SHIT out of Chad

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I'd be a controller like in City of Heros...if you don't know what it is...then too bad, you suck

20. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out... you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?
Finland, hang out with my relatives, the friendly Laplanders

21. This question still counts even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
Uhhh, I don't know...Chad likes Abstract, so we'll go with that

22. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude look at me I can float!"?
Travis, haha, he'd love it

23. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?
Marilyn Monroe

24. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My godmother, Shannon <3

What's your theme song?
In terms of my life...."Just A Girl" by No Doubt
If I was a wrestler like Chad...."Ebolarama" by Every Time I Die
- posted by Eddie @ 10:36 PM

 
This is getting rediculous...

Chad has been gone for a little over 4 hours...and well, I already miss him. Stop getting so attached Addy, be strong, be independant. Loser.

Well fuck, I can't help it, I love the fucker. God dammit...just wait 6 more months.

Enough of that rambling....

So yeah, we're smack dab in the middle of another 6 day Chaddy binge. I went down to K-town Saturday, Chad came back Sunday with me, went to Kitchener today, and is coming back tomorrow until thursday. I love it I love it I love it. I LOVE all the time we get to spend together, because I think it's absolutely spectacular that we can keep this relationship strong, despite the distance between us. Come on Addy, stop being so mushy and gushy....lame-o.

As for now...I shouldn't even be blogging. I should be doing my physics homework and music composition. I have some delicious tea (and I mean DELICIOUS) and some cake to keep me happy while I do it. Huzzah.

And afterwards...more clothing design/construction. FEELING CRAFTY! Which reminds me. I'm making Chad a suit for my prom. Yes...actually sewing him an actual fucking suit. Why not just buy one you ask? Well....when you see it...you'll get it. Hopefully your head won't explode (much) due to the overpowering awesomness of my creation. Muah hahahaha.

Oh, and Jocey, we are going to go check out the gym soon, just need to find a time when we're both free and have little to no stress of exams/work. We'll check out Exclusively Women's AAANNND Goodlife. It'll be grand, we'll be hot, end of story.

Warhed fears Pantalone.

Step Away From The Window
And Go Back to Sleep.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 4:29 PM

 
With the way I am feeling tonight...I think I finally understand the meaning/feeling behind the song "New" by No Doubt. I just can't help but feel that I'm in over my head, yet again, and that I'm just going to end up being hurt in the end.

Don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay....

Fuck.

I don't what else to put in this blog.

Damn you No Doubt for writing the soundtrack to my life.

Baka.

In My Head
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 10:32 PM

 
First thing's first....

Joceyln, I'm SO SO sorry about missing your play. Fucking weather and everything got me all messed up. Hopefully I will get to see you sometime. I'm sorry, I suck.

And now...

I got to spend 3 days with my Chad this week. A good thing, considering I probably won't get to see him for a while, with exams coming up and him moving back home and all. Boo-urns. Lots of fun times involving us just sitting in my room. We had multiple Futurama-thons and introductions to Strong Bad.

We also went to the store the first night, and got chips and french onion dip. My...god...I remember why I stopped eating chips. It's so fucking addicting, and I havn't felt that sick in a long long time. I can't believe we did it again the next day. Jesus.

Sooo he came and watched my hockey game today. I kicked a lot of ass, as usual, and I tried to kill Erica Van De Graaf, but she's so large and beastly that I couldn't, unfortunately. I'll get her next time, probably. Chad said he enjoyed the game despite the fact that we lost, just because I was so angry and intense. That's what you get for stealing our dressing room, right Abby? Heh heh...

One piece of bad news however. I've FINALLY found it, I've found....her. I love conusing people on this thing, so I'm not really going to give much information as to who she is. I think I'll just drop some names...if you know me well...like, really well....you might understand.
-Kenzie
-Annie
-Shannon
I hate that I found her. I didn't want to find her. I was hoping she might not even exist this time...but, she does. God dammit. Addy, you're such an idiot sometimes. I can't help it, I think she is ALWAYS going to be around, and it's something I'll have to deal with. There's probably a higher power that always decides to throw her at me. Whatev, hopefully I'll be ok, and not get depressed or pissed off about it. No promises though.

Now, I should go finish my composition for music. I hate cadences and key signatures. Maybe I'll eat some more conversation hearts.

Chuck Norris fears Warhed.

All I Needed Was A Simple Man
So I Could Be A Wife...
~Addy


- posted by Eddie @ 6:01 PM

 
There are very few things in life that are as simple, yet comforting as the smell and feeling of fresh, warm clothes straight from the dryer.

Mmmm....
- posted by Eddie @ 11:29 PM

 
Here's something....

Chad and I have been Ebay whores for the last week or so. Usually, when I go on ebay, I look around at the DIY clothing, because they have some fucking awesome stuff on there. I decided something today when I was checking it out though; I don't want to buy this stuff, I want to be the one that makes this stuff!

So here's what I told myself. I know I spend way too much money on clothes (even thought I only ever shop at thrift stores), so from now on, I'm going to TRY (and I emphasize try), to make all the new clothes I get. No more buying shit, but actually legit MAKING from scratch (hopefully).

I also decided that come this summer, I'm going to try and start wearing skirts. I've never ever worn skirts, just because I hated my legs. But you know what, I'm fucking hot, I could pull off skirts if I wanted. So I'm going to try and make a few skirts, just because I'm that cool. Also, if anyone has an idea for something they want made, I can try my best to make it for them (for a small fee possibly). I'll have you people know that I'm actually quite good at making clothes. They don't look shoddy or of poor quality when I make them, they look legit good.

So that's my exciting news for today. I have many many ideas for clothes to make, I'm going to be spending all my money on fabric in the next while, I suck with money.

Oh, and today is the tri-monthversairy for the Chaddy, so that is swell with me. I love you Chad! *kiss*.

You And Me
Even After Everything
You're The Queen and I'm the King
Nothing Else Means Anything
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 4:28 PM

 
Here's a question, why am I udating this instead of getting ready for work? I have no idea. Complusion? Habit? We'll go with one of those.

So a boring weekend is in store for me. Some stupid drama is going on in Kitchener right now, and I'd rather risk being bored at home than being caught in a crossfire that I shouldn't even be a part of. Perhaps I can work a beer tour tonight at le brewery, people love me there, and I get the best tips out of anyone, because I'm just so damn hot.

As for tomorrow, I have no idea. Jocey has rehearsal so I can't even give her a call. Maybe Stephen will want to do something, anything. Maybe Zach won't be busy with Courtney. Maybe I'll just be the fucking lame person I used to be and go hang around at the field on my day off....good lord.

Something has been troubling me as of late though. I seem to get random fits of obession with wierd subjects. As of late...I'm obessed with leaving. I'm obsessed with the idea of packing all my things, and just leaving Guelph, and going somewhere new and exciting. It could be anywhere, most likely Kitchener, which doesn't really SEEM that exciting, but it is.

And finally. I miss Cedric like fucking crazy. COME BACK! PLEASE!!

I want my Chad.

Squeal.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 11:02 AM

 
Interesting...

This weather is seriously fucking me up. It's the middle of January, and I feel like April is right around the corner. It's been rediculously warm as of late, and all the snow has melted. I love it, but it's still fucking me up. I hate winter more than anything, and I'm so glad the weather is nice, but I keep thinking that it's later in the year than it really is. I keep thinking I have less and less time until school is out. Because of this, I've totally been neglecting school, thinking "there's barely any left". Way to go Addy, you have a whole other semester, idiot. I'm behind on stuff. I suck.

But in good news...

I got to hang out with Chad yesterday. I went over around 1ish. He helped me work out a bit, which hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER, considering it's something I never do. He had me do inclined sit-ups, wierd push up type things with this roller dealie, and abs crunches on his swiss ball. I can barely move today, but it's good. It makes me really want to join that gym with Jocey. I'll be hot. Hotter than I am now. That's really hot. Almost too hot? Nah.

We hung out for a bit, went doontoon, and watched a bit of Saw 2 before going back doontoon to get Chad's newest addition to his tribal tattoos. It was interesting to watch. Chad only winced a few times, which impressed the hell out of me. The guy that did his tattoos was really nice and funny too. He was giving Chad advice about alot of current situations, good good stuff.

Also, I got a pricing from him on my next tattoo. Only $80?! Holy fuck, I'm TOTALLY going there to get it done. Fuck you Stigmata, fucking jews.

More hanging out, more watching Saw 2, and more talking in the dark until about 2:30 in the morning. All the best ingredients for a perfect night with the love of my life. Unfortunately, I'm thinking that due to schedule stuff this week...I'm not going to get to see my baby for a week or so...which sucks. Because well, I like Chad. Hopefully something will get worked out and I'll see him sooner than that.

Right now, I'm fucking starving, so I'll go take care of that.

OH, and tomorrow is Friday the 13th...beware fuckers!

I Want To Break It Up
I Want To Smash It Up
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 4:36 PM

 
Soooo today was a "bus day" as the kids are calling them these days. All the buses to the school were cancelled, and I ended up having 4 people in my physics class. I decided that it was pointless for me to go to my other 2 classes, seeing as how NO ONE would be there, AND my cadence test in muzak was cancelled.

I called up Chad to tell him the news from school, and now I get to go over to his place about 5 hours earlier, weee. I called mom to let her know what was going on. She was pissed that this happened, as she should be. Why do I have to go to school and the bus kids don't? Fuck that noise. So she came and picked me up, and now I'm here.

Chad told me that if I came over, we would be working out. Scary. I havn't worked out in god fucking knows how long. Aside from hockey and walking, I do close to nothing. This is one of the reasons Jocey and I decided to join a gym together, because we decided we should try and be HOTTER than we already are. But still...working out with Chad...intensity. I hope I don't die.

Annnd I need to get stuff together to go to Kitchener. Jelous? Don't lie...you are.

Lift You Head Up High
And Blow Your Brains Out!
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 11:03 AM

 
Me: "Family reunion eh? The Sutherland family reunion?"
Mike: "Oh god no. The Sutherland family reunion would take place on a huge open field, and everyone would have broadswords and greatshields and stuff. It would be like 'AAAHH!!! CHARGEEEEEE!! HEY MAN HAVN'T SEEN YOU SINCE LAST CHRISTMAS!! YOU LOOK GOOD!!'"

The strangeness of Addy's friends at the lunch table.

Me: "Ils enlèvent leur manteau!? What? They only have one coat? Is it one big coat!?"
Zach: "They're probably all hiding inside, like, 'QUICK GET OUT, WE'RE HERE!'"

I have conversations that are only funny if you're there...I think.

I honestly have nothing to talk about. School is boring. Hockey is boring. My life is generally just boring.

I just watched the episode of South Park where Stan turns goth. So funny, because it's so fucking true. "Life is pain. Why don't you go conform." The thing that made me laugh the most was the girl who was like "My mom won't let me go to the Skinny Puppy concert just because my herione-addict aunt is coming for dinner..conformist bitch." OH the funny. As much as I love Chad and everything, goths are fucking funny.

I noticed something wierd I do today though. I have a message from Chad on my answering machine from yesterday. I don't want to delete it. Every time he leaves me messages, I keep them for like, a week after, just so I can listen to them and hear his voice whenever I want.

...I hope I'm not the only person that does that.

I'm so full of Subway. I need to go be bulemic. Excusé-moi.

Handsome Shoved His Gloves.
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 6:48 PM

 
"Everything's bigger in Poland." -me

"WHAT THE FUCK, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUTON SHOP!!" -Chad freaking out

"Ah! I'm naked!" -Chad, every single fucking time my mom comes into the room

Sooo another Chaddy time has come and gone. Chad brought me yet another gift, a Barbed Wire Dreamcatcher. Creative? Let's go with yes. Complete with feathers he made from an old trenchcoat that are painted half red. Many fun times were had just walking around downtown and watching movies (even though Chad fell asleep).

Oh oh, we realized another reason we are so perfect for each other. May birthstone is emerald, and July birthstone is ruby. In the Wizard of....Emerald city...ruby slippers...WE RULE.

Um, I can't think of anything else to write really. Wednesday I get to go with Chad to get his next tattoo, should be interesting. Hopefully he's a little bitch and I get to make fun of him.

Jocey, thanks for the super long blog. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one in this situation. And I totally agree, we would be so incredibly fucking hot that this is what would go down...

Me: "Really officers, we didn't know any better. We were just having a pillow fight in our bra and panties, and happened to find 2 handguns under the bed."
Jocey: "Yeah, so we went downtairs and got our dads to go outside so we could have target practice. It was so cold outside that we were shivering and our nipples were rock hard. We shot them both right in the head!"
Me: "We didn't mean to, I swear. We're just poor, lonely, easily persuaded girls with too much time on our hands. Please forgive us!"
Cop: "*While obviously touching himself* Well, I guess I can let you girls off for now...but next time..."
Us: "OOH THANK YOU!!*Hugs the cop while rubbing up on slightly*"

Obviously that's what would happen.

Now...I think I'll go eat something, and do a little research.

Cut this picture into you and me
Burn it backwards, kill this history
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 4:32 PM

 
I think I finally know what Maynard meant when he said to "jam another dragon down the hole". So many things that are angering me have just been piling up and piling up today. I try to let them roll off my back or push them down, but I don't know how much longer I can do it.

Most of this is having to do with my dad. I fucking have just not been able to stand him as of late. Sure, I never have gotten along with him at all, but in the past few weeks, I've honestly contemplated ways to fucking kill him. I'm not sure if I ever could go through with actual murder, but I know that if there was one person I would ever kill, it would be him.

I've never known him to care about me in any way. He's never shown me affection, never talked to me about anything I actually cared about, and never given me anything but negative comments about everything I do.

I hate to use the whole "bad childhood" cliché, but honestly, he was a fucking absent alcoholic father for 15 years of my life, and now that he's gotten better apparently, he still has nothing better to do than either ignore me, criticize me, or contradict me. He has to be right about everything. According to him, I'm lazy, unhealthy, suck at hockey, don't do well in school, could have a better job, and am throwing my life away by not going directly into university next year.

Thanks dad, maybe you could've told me that when I was growing up. You know, made a better impression on me as a young'un. Oh wait, you were too busy drinking yourself stupid at bars and leaving mom alone to take care of me and Kirsten. There's times I wish that mom had left you for good, and we could've gotten away from you. The worst part about all this is the fact that since he got out of rehab, he fucking expects me to love him and forgive him for missing pretty much all of my life. Nice try dad, it doesn't work that way. I don't freely give away love and respect by default just because you're related to me. Maybe you should try actually trying to bond with me, but I think it's too late for that.

I think today was the final build up of shit over the last few weeks. It took all the self control I had not to punch him in the jaw and tell him I fucking hated him when I walked by him to go into my room. 2 things happened today that I nearly exploded on him for.

Number 1: I was in a bit of a rush to get to work this morning, because I had been talking to Chad about some stuff (p.s. Chad I don't care about that stuff anymore, really. I'm too upset about this situation to waste my time being angry about other trivial things), so I didn't have time to eat breakfast or pack a lunch for work. Around 2 at work, I called my dad and asked if him or my mom could bring me something to eat. He said sure, so I was happy, and went back to work.

About an hour later...no food. I called the house again, and apparently my dad had forgotten to tell mom to bring me something, because he was so wrapped up in this fucking SHITTY recording studio he has set up in our computer room. I nearly freaked out right there. All I asked for was something to eat, and you couldn't even remember that for 5 minutes, jesus christ.

Number 2: At 5 I was done work. I called home and this conversation occured...

Me: "Hey dad, could I get a ride home? If you're busy I can walk, it's not really a big deal."
Dad: "Oh, no no. I'll come get you in, um, 5 minutes ok?"
Me: "Cool, ok."

I waited 5 minutes and walked downstairs. He wasn't there. Hmm...ok, so I waited another 5 minutes...

and another...

and another....

and another....

I finally just thought "fuck this noise" and walked home.

I got home, and low and behold, he's still sitting at the fucking computer, fucking around with his recording shit. He turned to me and was like "Oh sorry...geezz I guess I forgot." I didn't say a word to him and just walked in here and slammed the door. How the fuck do you forget to pick up your own fucking daughter when she called you 5 minutes earlier!?

So in conclusion, if I seem overly irritable for the next little while...this is why. Don't be offended if I snap on you, or act like a complete bitch for no reason. I'm just trying to deal with this, and thank god there's only about 7 more months that I'm going to have to be living in this house.

Tilling My Own Grave To Keep It Level
Jam Another Dragon Down The Hole
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 5:26 PM

 
I've been a camera whore, and a myspace whore all morning. The sad sad life of Addy. I've even used some props...



I'm insane.

Work soon...hmm...right now I'm obsessing over ICP. That's all that is interesting in my life right now. I have the world's hottest boyfriend. Check it.



Get jelous.

I'm done. I'm fucking hyped up right now on caffeine and painkillers. I need to sit. I need to run around the block a few times. I need to have sex with Chad. Good god. I need to use that knife on myself. Idiot.

This is probably the most fucked up and random blog I've ever written....

You know I'm all good and everything's alright
When you hear this scream in the middle of the night like this...
OOH IT FEELS SO GOOD EVERY TIME I MURDER I GET HAPPY!
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 2:38 PM

 
"*Gives me double high-five* HIGH TEN!! It's my New Year's resolution to bring back the high ten!" -Chris

"Well, I'm out of here like a black guy with a stereo." -Chris

"How's high school guys? Recess still fun?" -Chris

"Beer pong is by far the most intense game of ping pong you will ever play." -Chris

Holy fuck, I forgot how fucking hilairious Chris is. There were probably way more things he said, but I can't remember them all.

Umm, not much else to say really...

I looking fucking sexy tonight. No seriously, I feel drop-dead gorgeous. I honestly feel like if I were taller, I could be a model. This is a good feeling.

I wish Chad were here, so we could be the sexy couple we are.

More frozen yogurt.

Say Hello....
To The Rug's Topography
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 10:40 PM

 
So here's the dealio...

Lets take a look back at May 2004, May 13 to be exact. If you check back through my blogs, you'll see that this was a day where I woke up with that horrible horrible pain in my abdomen, and ended up having to go to the hospital. Well, unfortunately, the same thing happened last night. I woke up at around 3am, feeling a really dull ache in my stomach. I couldn't get back to sleep, because the dull ache slowly turned into a sharp pain along with some burning thrown in for good measure.

I tried to ignore it for the better part of the early morning, but when it was time for me to go to work at the brewery, the thought of standing there for 6 or 7 hours with this awful feeling just didn't sound too tempting.

Me: "Mom, I think I need to go to the doctor."
Mom: "WHAT WHY!? OH MY GOD! OH DEAR LORD, HARRI WAKE UP!! TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE DOCTOR!!"

The funny thing is that I'm not exaggerating at all. That was her legit reaction.

My dad took me downtown to see my doctor. Here's another funny thing that happened...

Dad: "Yeah, Addy's sick."
Secretary: "I'm sorry, the doctor's not here all week."
Me: "AW FUCK THAT!"
Dad and Secretary: "...."
Me: "Sorry...it just hurts."

Luckily, there was a "replacement" doctor that came in to check me out. This girl was funny. She made a whole bunch of sex jokes and shit while checking me out. The funniest thing ever was what she said while giving me a speech about condoms.

Doctor: "Yeah yeah, I've got to give you the whole condom spiel. I know you teens never use them, but I have to encourage it anyway."
Me: "Yeah I know. I'm only having sex with one person though, I know he's clean."
Doctor: "Yeah that's what you think! He tells you he's a virgin, and then BAM! He's given you the HIV!"

She actually said HIV...like phonetically prounounced. I could not stop laughing despite all the pain I was in.

After a few tests, it was concluded that yes...again, Addy has multiple infections throughout her tiny little body. God damn the pussy ass immune system of the female reproductive organs. Hopefully I will be feeling better by tonight, because it's Stephen's birthday and such. I would like to go over and see my friends.

And now I'm back home. Sick, in pain still, and slightly bored. On the plus side, I got out of going to work today, shitchyeah. I'm going to go sit in bed, try to feel better, and watch some movies.

WOOO HOOOO

The Farther I Fall
I'm Beside You
As Lost As I Get
I Will Find You
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 10:07 AM

 
Well well well...

Ah yes, time for an update, and you know it's the highlight of your day.

A busy weekend as always for little old Addy. We'll start from the beginning as always.

New Years...well, it wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be. I had my ideal night set up, it may seem lame and boring to some, but come on, this is me, I make anything fun. I was hoping to have the night alone, listening to really loud music, and building an awesome model, all while making awesome chocolate milkshakes and maybe pausing for some movies/anime. I rule, I know. Well I ended up heading down to K-town to spend the night with Chad and Darcy, along with a few other people who I don't really care about enough to mention on here. Being slightly aggrivated at the situation (considering I'm not good with certain types of people), I started drinking, fast and hard. I remember getting slightly drunk, and then it all goes black from there. Apparently I was the last person to puke in 2005 because I threw up 15 seconds before midnight. Not something to be proud of really but...whatev.

Lets just say that the night ended really badly with me being a drunk idiot and Chad telling me repeatedly to fuck off and shut up quite a few times. I woke up to Chad telling me what an idiot I was for getting drunk, and me crying over stupid things....weeeeee. Isn't drinking fun?

All in all lets just say that it was a good way to end off a terrible year for me. It was the last time I plan on getting fucked in half drunk for quite some time. Maybe even hold out on getting that sloshed until I'm 19? I think I just needed one last shot of drinking myself into oblivion just to finally let go of all the shit I went through this past year. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for myself. Either way....

Sunday rolled around in a hung over blur. We all headed down to Cambridge to the Polish club for both wrestling, and for Chad to reconnect with his heritage. We got there around 1, and the show started at 4...a good 3 hours for Addy to kill doing pretty much nothing, fun fun. Chad and I got back on good terms and walked around the plaza across the street for a bit. I was happy he wasn't as pissed off at me as I thought.

Finally my parents showed up and the show soon started. As always, it was kind of boring watching the first few matches. Sure it's entertaining, but when you know what Chad's about to go through...fuck...nothing else really compares. Finally it got to Chad and Darcy's match that I've been hyping on here for the past month or so. It all went pretty well, it was well...disturbing to some people (not me for some reason), and in the end people were standing and chanting "WARHED! WARHED!!". I felt proud to be the one he goes home with at the end of the night. And even prouder that I'm the one that gets to have sex with him, fuckin eh.

And bam! Picture of Chad walking to the back after his match! (Yes, those are thumbtacks in his back)



Ahhh insanity, how I've missed you my friend.

Chad came back to my place afterwards. We got food, came back and had chocolate milk and oreos and watched some anime. Things got hot and steamy, and then we went to sleep. Weee.

Monday. I had been waiting for this day since friday. Holy fuck. Chad and I woke up, and went down to the field so I could grab some things I've been meaning to take home. I managed to finally introduce my hot Chad to my friends at the field, woot. The entire rest of the day passed by in kind of a blur, we got food, watched Ninja Turtles for a bit, and then...the main event....WE WENT TO GET MY TATTOO!!!!

Oh yes bitches, I got 'er done. It took a bit of psyching myself up, but it went well. I didn't cry, although I whined like a little bitch when he was doing the second star. I guess I feel more pain on the right side of my body? That was his explaination.

And....BAM! Picture of Addy's new tattoo!! (Yes, that's Chad's hand giving the shocker, because that's how he rolls...)



We ended off the night with some more delicious anime and delicious sleep...mmm. Also, Chad loves my new huge pink pillow...amd sadly it's been defiled...yep. Oh right, Chad has also started taking Zyban (stop smoking aid), and he has DRASTICALLY cut back on his smoking. I'm so so happy for him, good job baby.

So here we are today, Chad has now gone back to Kitchener, and I'm stuck here with a ton of fucking laundry to do. Oh oh, although I do have one more funny thing to say. I believe that Chad when he first wakes up, is one of the funniest things I have ever experienced. It's just that he looks so cute, and makes NO sense when he speaks. Example:

Me: *laughing*"Holy fuck, you are so fucking funny in the morning."
Chad: "Haha, yeah well, I'm funny...AND NAKED! *rips off his boxers*"

Can you say RANDOM!? Hi-lairious.

I guess there were a few times this weekend when I made an idiot out of myself, but we're all allowed a few right? It made me realize that I'm really lucky to have a guy like Chad who's going to still love me the next morning, no matter how stupid I get. There were a few time in the last few days when we were watching a movie, or walking somewhere, when I would just look at him, and his eyes would catch mine, and I would just wonder what I ever did to deserve this. I cannot believe that such an amazing and fascinating (and HOT) guy, would ever want to spend his time with me. Ok ok, now I'm getting mushy, sorry, I just can't help it. I love the guy more than I ever thought I could.

Ok, done. Time for laundry, I lead an exciting life.


A Simple Kind of Life
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 12:33 PM